I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
