Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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