we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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