you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
