i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
