God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
