i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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