my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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