who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
