you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
