quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
