i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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