who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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