I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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