I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize