rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
