six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
