I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
