What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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