I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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