Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
