you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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