I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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