I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
