spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have fence marks all over my body
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
what the fuck happened to the tacos
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
