As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
