So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
