So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
only if we run a train.
done.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
