I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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