So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
