The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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