I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
