omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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