i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
