Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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