Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
