thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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