She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
