Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
