Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
