is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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