What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
