My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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