this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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