will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
