you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
