can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
