Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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