we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize