So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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