I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
