He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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