Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
