omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
