I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My vagina is very pro this idea
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
