Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
