Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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