DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
