Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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