my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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