chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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