I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
