i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
