this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
