So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
as a side note pls kill me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
