i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
