Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
