Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
