honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
