I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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